i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
this boner is exhausting
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I came so hard my ears popped.
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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