She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize