Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
