In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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