it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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