Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
My breasts were aching with rage.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Randomize
