You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
foreskin is a definite game changer
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
