No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
