You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
