I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
