what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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