The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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