it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Randomize
