The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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