i don't like sucking hair
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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