READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Randomize
