Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
He did a backflip because drugs
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
