"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
