I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Randomize
