My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
