i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
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