I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Randomize
