That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
