I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
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