I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
