When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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