hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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