i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
