What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
