Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
