shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
he just fucked me for my cheese.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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