I feel great
I just peed on a car
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
