My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize