my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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