the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize