hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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