He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Randomize
