just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
