every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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