i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
