is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Randomize
