i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Randomize
