Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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