Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
