Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
