Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
