Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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