if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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