You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
