Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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