the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
