the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
kristin has been a bad kristin
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
