I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
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