I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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