she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
