It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
