oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
