Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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