Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Randomize
