so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
