But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
Randomize
