Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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