At least make sure they are 18
Why
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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